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Bodily Functions in Class

Well, I'll begin by saying that it was yet, another normal Wednesday at Venice High School. Jose Valdez (me) just sitting in my chair near the back of the class. It was 3rd period (English class) with Mr. Rodriguez when my friends began to mess around. One of them named Norman hit me in the stomach! Whew, luckily it didn't\'t disrupt my already upset stomach. Everything got quiet, and we began to read our Black Elk book. Finally, it was over! I got through the day without crappin my pants (or so I thought...) When I reached for my backpack to get a pen, I found that it wasn't there. I gazed across at my classmate Adam, who was dangling it in mid-air, messing with all my stuff! I arose from my seat to retrieve my pack (and to teach Adam a lesson in stealing). In order to get to Adam, I had to cross Mr. Rodriguez\'s desk... quietly. Alright I said to myself, I can do it. In the midst of the silence, as I walked towards Adam (right in front of Mr. Rodriguez might I add), wh!
en Whooff, a fist comes flying at me, courtesy of another classmate, George Jimenez. POW!!! connection with my stomach... Silence... then... BOOOOOOOOM. My ass wouldn't shut up! A huge fart rips across the room. As if it weren\'t bad enough, Rodriguez looks up laughing like a freak! My face was so red, I can't even begin to explain. Suddenly, a sharp smell raids the air. Quoc (who was sitting right behind me) begins to yell. When I began to run back to my seat, I soon found out why Quoc wouldn't shut up. My cheeks were gliding with no friction whatsoever! And that's when I realized...

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